Many couples, no matter how close you are, can have trouble opening up to each other for fear of rejection. You don’t want to be told that the things you really love, that make you feel happy inside, are wrong, or dumb, or impossible. It holds us back from truly understanding each other and it will keep you from living the life you were created to live together. There is something about sitting together, dreaming, talking, communicating, planning, and strategizing that will open up a level of vulnerability and discovery between the two of you. It will put you on the same track and make you unstoppable.
One of the things that consistently made a huge difference for us is looking at our life at least once a year and setting goals. I use the term goals loosely because it’s more like setting a focus and direction for what we want our life to look like. Some years we have been really diligent in following our plan, and sometimes we were not as focused, but it has always made a difference year after year since we started.
It may sound contradictory, but we start by spending time alone. We go into separate rooms or corners get really quite and pray. Then we dream. The first time you do this together think of the big picture. If you could have any job in the world, what would it be? If you could go anywhere in the world where would you go? It doesn’t matter where you are now or what you believe you can accomplish, we are just talking big dreams here.
Then we come together and we share. We share exactly what we want to do, what we want the freedom to accomplish, who we want to help, everything. The big dreams don’t change much year to year and it is the road map for everything we do. As your lives and goals and desires grow and change, you will find that your big picture changes too and that its totally fine, but it is the best place to start.
Next we work backwards, what would it realistically take to reach these huge dreams? How long do we want it to take to get there? Do you need money, time, energy, etc.? Don’t get too bogged down by the details, but be totally honest about what you need.
Take it a step further. What can you do or change THIS YEAR that will align with your focus and goals. Get quite again. Pray about it. This is the time to get to the details. Make a plan, create measurable milestones, set a time limit and stick to it. It is crazy how taking this small step to be intentional can really launch you into action.
If you want to learn more about setting goals, the book Goals! by Brian Tracey is a great one to read. You can find it HERE. If you want to learn more about discipline and follow through, definitely buy the book Take The Stairs by Rory Vaden, HERE.